If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries
and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but have not
love, I am nothing.I Corinthians 13:2
Paranoia, fear, and hoplesness have driven me to a cold state of being. Love is what I want to be. If there is a place for love in my life, I want it here in me. I want something consistant in my life. Something that will not falter or disappear. I need some stability. Some strong frame to lean on. I need a flame of hope that will burn with a constant intensity through even the dampest weather. I've been gnawing at these icicles dripping from the tips of my fingers. No matter where I stand, I cannot warm up. Luke warm is the closest I've come to warmth. For so long, I've been too paralyzed in fear to do anything about this emptiness in me. This hole made from pain has been filled with anger, hate, and disgust with each inch of rotation this world makes. I hope love has a place in my life. I hope this ice isn't too thick to melt. Or break. I hope.
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