It was just a thought.

For this brief moment in time, everything is just fine. In fact, everything is too fine. Things are so fine that for this brief moment in time, I feel compelled to stand completely still for fear that my one move with throw everything off and I will find myself back in that miserable pit I just got pulled out of. I feel like God is actually there. He's really listening and not only is He listening, but He's helping too. I guess it's just little things that He's doing that make my life a bit brighter. For instance, I broke my phone the other day. On top of everything bad that had happened that day, through all the tears and frustration, my day was just horibble enough and then that happened and everything in me just wanted to scream. Not having any hope whatsoever, I figured I'd try to use my old phone which had mysteriously broken just weeks ago. Surprisingly, it turned on. And worked. I know it was nothing I did because I did nothing. While God didn't erase all the bad things that had happened that day, He did prevent another for which I am overwhelmingly thankful. While a phone isn't high on the priority list, I think it's unimportance in the scheme of things is what makes this so meaningful to me. To think that this great god who created and reigns over an entire world would look down at me sitting in my living room chair running my fingers through my hair and scowling in frustration and...care. He cared. He cared about me and my dinky cell phone. He cares about my stupid little problems and frustrations. For this brief moment in time, I feel like I don't have to control anything in my life. I can just live knowing that God is taking care of me. While my parents are going through a divorce and our home should feel broken, in actuality, it couldn't feel stronger. I have this boyfriend who actually wants me for me. For the first time ever, I have a guy who doesn't want anything more from me than a piece of my time which I am overjoyed to give him. High school which has felt so stupid and pointless all this time is actually feeling ohkay with me. I have all A's and I'm going to prom with this incredible guy. I have a job while many don't. I have everybody I could possibly want right here. The wonderful part of all of this is that it isn't because of anything I did or said. This isn't due to tedious strategizing and wisdom on my part. This is because God did this. He saw me miserable and wanted me to be happy. And I am. For this brief moment in time, I am happy. And I'm scared to death of going back to the saddness that has been claiming me for all these years. So I'm just going to stay still. Completely. Still.