It was just a thought.

Brilliantly, I've removed my heart from the rest of me. I set it aside for later use. Much later use. Right now, my heart will just make a mess of things and more damage will be done to it. For now, I need to do this heartless. I've found a way to be happy for the time being. But if I let my heart play a part in this, all will be ruined. I'm happy. I really am. My body and mind are in a happy state of being. My heart on the other hand... Well, it's tender already. It's too sensitive for something like this. I'll be fine. I'm not worried. The decisions I'm making right now will not harm me...so long as I keep my heart far from everything. It's weird not feeling. To not hurt. But also to not love. This is no way I want to live for a long period of time. But for brief intervals, I think it's ohkay. I can't cry. I'm physically inable to cry. Because I don't feel sad. I don't feel anything. Ha, it's weird. The last time I felt like this was after Ryan broke up with me. I was numb, so to say, for over a year. This isn't the exact same. I didn't choose to become this way out of devastation. I can easily make myself feel again. I just don't want to right now. Feeling will just ruin all of this. And I like this. I'm happy. At least, I think I'm happy. I don't actually feel happpy. Because, well, I don't feel anything anymore.