It was just a thought.

Why did he have to go ruin everything? It was all so perfect. Now it's gone. It's ruined. Even though what we have now is good, we will never have what we had back. And it's hard for me not to be angry with Gavin and with God. Really hard. It's the dramatic irony that really kicks my ass. The way that I was so ignorant and naive, caught up in love and pure bliss to see what was going to happen. Gavin drove over here all the while thinking of what he was going to say when he broke up with me. God was looking down, seeing me crying on the bed because I just wanted Gavin's mom to like me. God saw everything that was happening, that was about to happen, and worst of all, He saw my heart break yet again and didn't stop Gavin from breaking it. It's hard to forgive. Mostly to forgive God. I'm trying really hard not to be angry with Him, but how can I? He let the bottom of my world just fall through. He pulled the rug out from beneath my feet. He foresaw the pain and heartache I would go through for who knows how long, and just let it all happen. He didn't step in and protect me from it all like the gallant knight I'd been picturing Him as. Instead, He just watched idly by from the sidelines. He watched my heart get ripped from my chest, thrown the the ground and then kicked around and trampled like a soccer ball. I can't help but wonder, who was He rooting for? Was He hoping that I would be strong and intercede, saving my own heart? Or was he hoping Gavin would win by stealing it from me and punting it across the world, rendering it useless and filling me with an inexplicable pain?I guess there were cheers from heaven if that was case, because Gavin won.