It was just a thought.

I know I've made it all day without crying, but I think I'm just going to lay in bed and cry tonight. Not because I'm sad, per say, but because I just feel so...undeserving. So ignorant and so self-absorbed. There's this great god ruling universes and galaxies and, while looking down upon all the turmoil and heart break in the world, He cares about my heart break. He cares that I hurt. I don't understand it. But do I have to? For days, I've felt like I've been going through this world unseen, unheard, and unloved. But, I'm so stupid. It's hard to not be angry with God even though I know this is all just part of The Plan but, as my heart breaks yet again, I can't help but wonder, how much more pain do I have to go through until I get to the end?