It was just a thought.

I dooo. I love him a lot. Last night in the hospital, I just kept looking at him and smiling. Because I love him so much and having him there with me...it made my heart so happy. I loved it. I love him. It's absurd, but last night, with him there with me, it was the first time I had been to the hospital without feeling insanely guilty. In the past, when my mom would take me, she would just make me feel awful the entire time. Even when it was something I couldn't have avoided. Every hospital trip was a guilt trip. Except last night. Last night, I didn't feel like I was a major inconvenience to the world. I felt loved. And really cared for. When I'm with Gavin, I feel like I actually matter. Because, to him, I do.