It was just a thought.

It's like I don't even know my mom anymore. She's just changed so much. Going over to her house and seeing her just...laying on the couch, no make up on, with her house a mess...not that it's wrong,per say, it just isn't her. I miss the mom I knew. Who always had her hair and makeup done. Her house decorated differently each season. The way she smelled like a combination of leather and Clinique Happy perfume. We went to church every Sunday. And when Autumn, Isaac and I were all younger, we had family game night every other Tuesday. I complained then because I complain about everything. And I'm complaining now because I miss it. And her. I thought this divorce would be so good for her. Bring some life back into her eyes. But she's just slowly getting worse. She used to live life to the fullest. Now she's just living to kill time before she dies. It kills me. I don't want to care. But I do. The mom I knew never would have let some man get away with raping her and hitting her children just for a check here and there. She had a strong sense of dignity. Now, I can't help but wonder if she'll do anything for a buck. I don't know. I wish I didn't care but I do. I miss her. I miss the way she smells. And I miss her laugh. And I miss family game nights.