It was just a thought.

I wish I could walk away from myself as easily as people walk away from me. They just go and don't look back. Like I never was. Like I'm nothing at all. I wish I were someone's world. I wish someone would need me just get out of bed in the morning. I always say I don't want to get married; I don't want anyone. But that's a lie I've tried to convince myself is true after life proved to me that nobody will ever want me. But when I was a little girl, I'd dress up in bed linens and walk slowly down the hallway with a bunch of dandelions in my hand and I would imagine a boy at the end of it, looking at me the way my daddy looked at my mama and my heart would swell with hope for the someday I would get married for real. And I know that won't happen for me. There's no one who is going to look at me the way my daddy looked at my mom. It's just me in a hallway, dressed in sheets, walking slowly to the floor length mirror at the end. Just me. I wish I didn't want to be wanted but I do. And every time someone throws me away, it kills that little piece of hope that keeps resurrecting. And what's so wrong with me anyway? What's so bad about me that makes people not wanna love me? What's wrong with me? I have so much love to give and no one who wants it.